FML
February 28, 2009 § 2 Comments
This phrase is becoming rather ubiquitous, almost on par with “wtf”. Somebody’s Facebook status alerted me to the website FMyLife.com, where people describe the unfortunate circumstances in their lives that cause them to utter that phrase. Reading these really makes me feel better about the more miserable parts of my life.
These are a few of the funnier ones I’ve chosen:
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said “I believe in you, -Mom.” FML
Today, I left my glasses at home and while walking to the bus stop I saw the cutest girl on on the street smiling and waving at me from her front yard, I happily waved back smiling and kept going. It turned out that she was was crying and calling me over since her dad just had a heart attack. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidently texted “I’m going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament” to my ex-fiance, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
Today, I got accepted to Yale University. My parents response: “We never expected you to get into college. We spent all of our savings on sending your brother to school.” FML
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: “love mom.” FML
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
And the funniest one of all:
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I Love You But I’m Letting Go
February 27, 2009 § 1 Comment
On Wednesday I had the chance to speak with an older female IV leader about the one overwhelming aspect of my life right now, and by God’s grace she was able to speak truth into my life, revealing some things that I didn’t even know I was struggling with. It helped, but the hurt only deepened once I understood it, and is now giving way to anger.
Unlike despair, in which I can wallow miserably, anger makes me restless. I want to throw things, to get out. I want to go home. I want to confront people. But most of all, I just want my life back. But some people have to go and make things complicated…
I also wish I could stop pretending to be fine. Some of it is self-wrought, a defense mechanism because talking about it is painful even when I laugh about it. Some of it is caused by the fact that the world moves on, and even my closest friends can’t understand what I’m going through. Sometimes it’s not pretending, but most of the time I still carry around a darkness that I cannot yet release.
I can’t stop listening to this song:
If Goliath Were A Citrus
February 24, 2009 § Leave a comment
While cavorting around Wal-Mart on Friday, Roomie #1 and I stumbled upon the bin of “exotic” fruits, which held a bunch of large, light-green spheres labeled “pomelos”.
“WHAT are these?!” I exclaimed as I examined one. She took it from me and began tossing it in the air. “I don’t know, but I really want to play soccer with it or something.”
JZ came over and explained that pomelos are like grapefruit, except even bigger. Astounded, I knew that I had to try one. The best-looking one was the one that Roomie #1 had been throwing up and down, but fortunately, as I discovered, the rind of a pomelo is over an inch thick.
This is how big it was, compared to my iPod:
It was quite an ordeal breaking into that thing. I believe that it was not ripe yet, because it was rather dry inside, which made it difficult to break through the sections. It was a messy process indeed.
The inside of the rind felt very strange and spongy, like insulation. The taste of the flesh was similar to to grapefruit except less tangy; I didn’t bother trying the skin [pith?] because I figured it would be bitter.
All in all, it was not a terrible experience, but it was also not one that I would choose to repeat. I think I’ll stick to regular grapefruit from now on.
ZOMG!
February 23, 2009 § 1 Comment
Sprinkles are forecasted for tomorrow!!11!
Out buying ice cream now, kthxbai.
auradis 