Little Little Lies
October 15, 2009 § 4 Comments
I can always find the perfect song to match my sentiments.
Betrayed
October 14, 2009 § Leave a comment
Why must life be filled with so much regret?
I trusted them — I trusted both of them
But I am learning once again
That I cannot depend on people.
That I am in control of nothing.
That despite pretty words and deep kisses,
He can turn his back in an instant.
And despite heartfelt promises and nearly half a lifetime of friendship,
She will do exactly the same.
I am numb with anger.
He was the one who helped me recover from the unwanted one,
Yet he is the one who turns my bitter heart blacker.
Was it love? No.
Was there potential for the future? Not really.
But he kissed her and did not have the decency to tell me,
Pretending to be my friend this whole time
As if it had never happened.
There are suddenly so many people I have to forgive;
I could not look them in the eyes
Even if they were not three hundred miles away.
He and she really disappointed me.
I wish none of this had ever happened,
But life does not rewind.
I can only endure each passing moment
As I wonder how things always turn out like this.
Inhibition
October 13, 2009 § 1 Comment
I sat down at the circular table for dinner on the second night of Fall Conference ’09, delighted to see that every placemat had a generous piece of chocolate cake — my favorite food [Beijing roast duck comes in at a close second]. While giving my baked potato to PN, I noticed a vacant seat at the table, which meant an extra piece of cake. After looking around to check that nobody else was eying it, I asked PN to hand it to me.
Later, it became apparent that one of the people at our table did not have a piece of cake, so I conceded my extra one to her, though not without playful jeers from our fellow male diners. [I don’t care if they judge; I will stay faithful to my gustatory love!]
SL, who sat to my left, kindly offered me his own piece of cake, claiming that he did not really enjoy sweet foods. I gladly accepted it, finishing both pieces and sitting in bloated satisfaction. I’m not exactly sure in how the subsequent events happened, but suddenly, a piece of cake arrived from across the table, followed by three more.
“Eat all of them!” JG urged.
“Yeah, JG and I have money on it!” JP yelled.
“You want me to eat a total of six pieces of cake?!” I responded incredulously.
The guys at the table goaded me while the women looked on in mild amusement. Full as I was, I could’ve done it — my stomach stretches to enormous proportions when I consume sugary foods — but I adamantly refused. The reason I gave was that I didn’t want to throw up my entire dinner, but in actuality I didn’t want to appear cheap. Sacrificing my dignity for a mere $15? Just the notion of it is embarrassing.
However, I couldn’t shake the thought that if I were a guy, I totally would have accepted the challenge.
Competitive eating is mostly a men’s world. At other camps and buffets that I’ve been to, only guys would attempt to out-eat each other in some ridiculous manner. The activity is rather barbaric to me; even though I am against gender stereotypes and all that, I am still at time subject to wanting to fit into the dainty mold into which women are supposed to conform. A guy would get lauded for finishing a huge amount of food, but I can’t imagine myself receiving the same level of accolades from my peers — especially the female ones. I’ve simply never seen it happen.
V For Peace
October 8, 2009 § 1 Comment
Hah! Wong Fu Productions created a mockumentary on posing for pictures, primarily the poses of Asians. My favorite 13 seconds start at the 10-minute mark.
auradis 