Guess Who Didn’t Sleep At All Last Night?
January 4, 2010 § Leave a comment
My headache is not as cute.
My flight to Hong Kong leaves in six hours. I’m 90% finished packing. My procrastination stemmed from bad habits as well as the stress of packing five months worth of possessions & necessities into two medium-sized suitcases. I didn’t have time to redo my nails, but I did manage to spontaneously finish rewriting the lyrics to a Korean song. I’m absolutely excited about flying again, but I very well might be completely lost when I land at Hong Kong International Airport. I’m going to be alone.
I cut Larry’s hair again, but this time it took an hour. Somehow, the task gets harder every time. Why does his hair insist on forming a mushroom no matter what I do? I only got five hours of sleep the night before, so maybe it’d be nice to have some caffeine. I wish airplanes had outlets so I could edit this music video during the 16 hours of travel. The rest of the family wakes up in 15 minutes; it’s pointless to try to sleep. My room is still a mess.
Can’t focus. I’m leaving for five months! Seems so long, yet so short. I won’t miss mother’s nagging or Larry’s whining or father’s absence. I’m not going to cry, but I feel like I should, though at the same time I feel like there’d be no point. I’m going to miss home and the pink monkey I sleep with every night.
Awkward Turtle
December 22, 2009 § 2 Comments
There is very little that I detest more than awkwardness. It’s the reason I won’t watch The Office and refuse to give in to the endeavors of my awkward-loving friends to convert me. Recently, something came up unexpectedly, though there’s no reason for me to be surprised about it.
Although things with my ex are definitely in the past now, the situation is still uncomfortable because we have SO many mutual friends. Not much has changed between his relationships with my closest friends, which I suppose is a good thing [for everybody but me]. This sometimes means that he still acts like a clingy child to my BFF, but I suppose some things never change.
One thing he’s always enjoyed is having people over at his house. Because I returned home from school later than everybody else this past week, they’ve all spent time there already. CZ was there with some other friends just 20 minutes ago when I called her, and an awkward tension immediately mounted when she mentioned it.
I really hate this. It’s not like I’m dying for an invitation to his house, but it’s not like I’d rather die than go there. These people are my friends too! Why is it that we can’t play together? Do they feel like my ex and I have to be mutually exclusive? I know that he’d probably be the last person to call me, but are my own friends really that uncomfortable doing so as well when he is there? Should I talk to him about this? I don’t know how to figure this out. Thank God I’m only home for two weeks…
Never Would’ve Guessed
December 14, 2009 § 1 Comment
I can never look at squirrels the same way again.
A week ago, roomie #4’s boyfriend started his car in one of the large student parking lots. Smoke began rising from his hood, so he got out of his car to inspect it.
“All I knew was that it smelled jank,” he said.
Inside his engine he found a squirrel trapped beneath some pipes.
“It was already half-fried and on its way to death,” he recalled.
“Little animals are always trying to find a warm place to sleep at this time of year,” roomie #4 added.
He ended up digging it out with a large stick and leaving it in the parking lot.
Boys Boys Boys
December 7, 2009 § 4 Comments
“…Seriously?”
“You’re already a junior in college,” mother said during dinner. “It’s time for you to start thinking about finding a boyfriend.”
Incredulity stifled my first instinct, which was to laugh. After years of rebelling against mother’s decree that I don’t date until college and then her ridiculous rules and curfews when I was in college and was seeing someone, I never expected to hear those words from her mouth. The mother of my best friend has been urging her to find a boyfriend for ages, and we always laughed about the disparity between their goals.
I also wanted to laugh because at this point in my life, I’d actually prefer being single than being in a relationship, yet now mother encourages me to get back on the market.
Despite my resentment toward mother, I appreciated the underlying message that I inferred: Do well in school now so that you can get a good job and won’t have to depend on a man for support. Seems reasonable enough, though sometimes I feel like the message is more: Be successful so that you can snare a successful man who will be able to support you financially.
In actuality, I believe mother wants something in the middle. I do want to date/marry an intelligent man with a good job. As a journalist, I won’t be expecting to be making tons of money, and occasionally I’m relieved that society doesn’t put the pressure on me to find an occupation that will fund an entire family. On the other hand, it’s sad that neither of my parents believe that I’ll even make enough money to support myself and have both tried to persuade me to change my major on multiple occasions.
“What about that guy you spent so much time with over the summer?” mother inquired.
“I don’t talk to him anymore,” I replied, chuckling.
“Oh? Why not?”
I glanced at Larry while trying to think of a response. “I’ll tell you later. He’s…a bad person.”
“Has he found a job yet?”
“Hah, no.”
I was surprised that she brought him up during such a conversation. Was she actually condoning that potential relationship?? Mother didn’t leave me much time to think about it as she dove into a mini-lecture on finding the right man.
“Looks should be your last priority,” she began.
I’ve already failed — looks are my FIRST priority. Well, EC put it better: Looks are like the bar that a guy has to jump over to get into the room, which has a tunnel that leads to another room. I will not date or marry an unattractive man, much less sacrifice my body to make babies with him [if you can’t sympathize, don’t bother commenting on that].
“You need to find somebody smart. In this economy, only 40% of college students find jobs after graduation,” she continued. “Of those hired, 90% are from Ivy Leagues are hired, which only leaves 10% for other universities.” Sounds dire.
“Well, there definitely isn’t anybody for me at MY school, so I won’t have to worry about this until later.” I’ve said this many times to many different people because it’s basically true.
“How about the boys at church?” she pressed. I rolled my eyes as she named her two favorites — both are successful, smart, upright, from good families, not bad-looking, and most importantly, single.
“Mooooooom,” I moaned. “I’ve never had any kind of connection with the first one, and the second one practically dated my best friend! I can’t cross that kind of boundary!”
“Well they never actually dated, did they? It’s totally fine.”
Oh my goodness. What degree of shamelessness is this? I’m going to pretend she was joking about that last one. Father named a family friend [his favorite], which incited more eyeball-rolling. I understand that these are fine specimens, but I’ve known them forever! If there was any sort of connection with any of those people, I would’ve jumped on it. But I cannot force those kinds of things.
On the bright side, now I feel free — pressured, even — to spend time with guys [as long as they’re somewhat acceptable to her] when I’m at home. Huray?
auradis 