Lost Cause
June 17, 2009 § Leave a comment
This is how I know that my life is sad.
Last night, my mom called me into her room to tell me something. “I just got off the phone with my old college friend,” she began. “She lives in Montreal; we visited her family once a long time ago, remember?” How could I forget? Even though it was more than a decade ago, I still remember the long car ride with my new Walkman [listening to Shania Twain], and living with the family above their little shop, from which I was free to take whatever candy I wanted.
“Now they own a motel and a restaurant,” my mother continued. “I asked her if she needed anybody to work for her during the summer.”
“You’re going to send me all the way to Canada?!” I yelped.
“It would be a good opportunity for you to practice your French,” she responded blithely, as if she had simply suggested that I go check the mail. I’m sure what she actually meant was, “I can’t stand to see you doing nothing but lounging around the house all day because you don’t have a job! I’m sick of seeing your useless face!”
I stood motionless in her doorway as my brain cast about haplessly for the most tactful way to refuse.
“Do you think your French is good enough for you to waitress? They just happen to have an opening because one of their employees is having surgery,” my mother said. I thought for a minute about my lack of participation in every French class I’ve ever taken, my self-consciousness about my bad accent, and the difficulty I have understanding the language when spoken at a normal, conversational speed.
“No…” I replied. “Don’t you think it would be easier for them to, you know, hire an actual Canadian?” In my mind I wondered about the exchange rate between Canadian and American currency.
“Well of course it would be!” she laughed. “With the economy the way it is, everybody is looking for a job.” She then proceeded to tell me about how we were planning to drive to Canada en route to Boston for a mini-vacation this summer, but with my father’s work schedule we’d probably have to push it back to mid-July, and ended with a resigned, “But you probably won’t be able to work for them.”
“Thanks anyway, mom,” I answered as I walked back to my room.
I turn 20 today. What have I accomplished in these two decades of life? Absolutely nothing.
Give and Take
June 14, 2009 § Leave a comment
I’ve realized rather recently that gift-giving is one of my love languages, though in a more minor way than my two main ones. I really enjoy buying things for people that I love, which is why it took me an hour to pick out a hat for my brother’s birthday present — it had to be perfect. I groused about how much it cost [$29 after tax], but I decided it was worth it.
After he had gone to bed on the eve before his birthday last week, I put the present, wrapped up, before his door so that he could receive it first thing in the morning. I’m always the last one awake in my family on the weekdays, so by the time I came out of my room he had already opened it.
Larry was watching TV downstairs with the hat next to him on the table, and when I approached him I didn’t receive any word of thanks [not that I was looking for gratitude, but I figured he’d be excited to get what he had been wanting]. Instead, he told me that it looked weird on him. He put it on to show me and indeed, although the hat size was S/M, it was too big for him. I thought it looked better on me, to be honest:
So the hat spent the rest of the week on my parents’ dresser, unwanted.
Today after church, my mother took Larry to the mall to exchange the hat for another one. When I returned home from eating out, he had his new hat on already — this one cost freaking $39!
This one does fit his little head much better, but I still feel sad that my gift wasn’t good enough. But seriously? A forty dollar hat?? Jeez.
Worth Celebrating
June 10, 2009 § Leave a comment
In honor of my brother turning 13 today, I would like to start out this post with a little insight into his life:
I saw that on my Facebook feed two days ago. After recovering from my initial shock at seeing my brother curse in such a public domain, I proceeded to comment on his status, reprimanding him for his language. I checked back a few hours later to see if any of his other friends had commented after me, and discovered that the twerp had deleted my comment!
Nothing like a little shame, eh? Fine. I got the message. Clearly, my reproach is unwanted. Well happy birthday anyway, little punk! I hope he enjoys the $30 skater hat I bought for him [he had better wear that thing like it’s glued to his head].
Continuing on with the Facebook statuses, here are some more that I found coincidental in recent months:
What was baffling everyone, I wonder?
Ha ha if only practical, immediate advice were available every time I had a problem.
Obviously, those St. Louis ribs were delicious & worth discussing.
Coincidences occur on Twitter as well:
I have no idea what was going on, although as a Macbook user I suppose I should be more in the loop.
The gym is a popular place; I should really go more often.
Lastly, this ONTD comment just made me LOL in real life:
Growing Pains: More Pain Than Growth
June 6, 2009 § 2 Comments
The sponsor my brother’s coach found for their traveling soccer team is Hooters [great choice, sir. I hate you]. They had a team dinner there after practice last week, which I loudly protested to my mother. Sure, the kids would all eat for free, and the chain had donated $500 to the team, but really? That really isn’t the wisest place to take a horde of 13-year-old boys, but maybe the partnership was deliberate.
My mother said that the decision to go would rest on Larry, and he appeared be in favor of eating with the rest of his team. Since my father was traveling that week, I decided to join them at Hooters so I wouldn’t have to eat at home by myself, and also to see what the restaurant was actually like. When my brother found out that I was going with them, however, he immediately voiced his opposition.
“Why are you coming with us?”
“Because I don’t want to eat dinner by myself…”
“I’m not going, then, if you’re coming.”
His swift change in attitude was inexplicable, and I ended up staying home. This was a good thing, I suppose, since I would have been wildly out of place. My mother later told me that the group separated into three tables — boys, mothers and fathers — and that the small table of women at which she sat consumed three large pitchers of beer, none of which was her contribution. Those soccer moms really know how to put it away…
auradis 