auradis

After only three days at home, I already feel like I’ve eaten twice my weight in food. I don’t stress about my eating habits too much, but being full all the time is not exactly comfortable — seriously, I’m going to switch to one meal a day from now instead of six.

I arrived home on Saturday night [after six hours in the car with two girls I didn’t really know but who both went to my high school] and immediately went to the house of a family friend, where we dined on delicious, homemade Chinese food. I spent the night figuring out how to use my new Blackberry while playing Halo 3 with SS, who stayed with my family for a few days because she’s never been to Chicago.

On Sunday I stepped foot inside the finished church building for the first time. It’s an impressive structure, though the parking lot still has an overflow and the starkly white walls are in severe need of color. I was excited to see some old friends again, and there were also some who I would rather not have seen. Some girlfriends and I loitered after lunch to attend a ladies’ teatime. It wasn’t my idea to attend [I thought it sounded cheesy], but it was encouraging to see a mix of ages and meet some new people from church.

My girlfriends and I then returned to my house to hang out. XZ and CZ baked cookies & brownies to sell around my neighborhood for fundraising [fail — the treats are still in my kitchen] while LC and I watched Kpop performances on YouTube, ha ha. They all stayed for a delicious dinner of hot pot [we have it every time I come home because my parents know I miss it the most], during which my parents force-fed every one of them, as usual. I really am grateful for the generosity of my parents in times like those.

The next day, LC, SS and I took the Metra downtown. SS had never been in a big American city before, so she was extremely pleased with the familiar sight of large buildings and concrete. The weather was brisk but we walked to Shedd Aquarium anyway, where we ogled the fish and talked about which ones looked more delicious. I had my first hot-dog-stand Chicago-style hot dog while we waited for SS’s cousin to pick her up [and drop us off at Michigan Ave.].

LC and I did some shopping, which included picking out ridiculous outfits for each other to try on at Forever21. Surprisingly, I kind of liked the shiny purple skinny pants she chose for me. XZ and CZ picked us up from there, and we traveled to Wicker Park to meet JC and have dinner at Sushi Para. We ate until we were ready to vomit — I’ve had sushi more times this semester than my entire life, and after that meal, I don’t want to eat fish for at least a month. Somehow, we still managed to find room for frozen yogurt afterward, but not before CZ fell out of the parked car onto the curb, heh heh.

We had to race to make it to the Metra on time [as usual when we’re leaving the city], and CZ and LC slept over at my house. We spent a few hours in the basement filming another music video, which elicited much laughter because of our crazy antics and failure to dance in a coordinated manner. All I can say is, I never knew CZ had such an affinity for Mickey & Minnie Mouse. It took me quite a while to figure out how to use iMovie ’09, which is completely — and frustratingly — different from the ’04 version. I showed the completed video to my parents, who were pretty tickled at the sight of us dancing around our basement with the random crap stored down there.

Last night after dinner, mother took me and Larry to get H1N1 flu vaccinations at a nearby middle school. I arbitrarily wore a knit hat [kind of looked like this] that was a Christmas present from YC maybe five years ago [I’ve never really worn it in public before], but Larry took it and put it on himself, saying that it looked much better on him [true, sadly], and that he was going to wear it next time he went skiing. This was especially amusing for me because I had actually offered him that hat a few years ago when he went skiing, but he chose my blue Adidas beanie instead [which he lost, the punk].

Because I haven’t had a shot in a long time, I was quite nervous about getting vaccinated. It didn’t hurt at all, however, though Larry and I both wondered how exactly it worked, since the nurse just randomly stuck the needle into our arms. In the car on the way home, we were playfighting about something when he punched me on the left shoulder in the exact location where the needle entered. Like I said, the shot didn’t hurt, but thinking about it makes it sensitive. Two minutes later, he forgot [or “forgot”] and punched me there AGAIN.

Anyway, three full days of extreme eating remain, and I must have the self-discipline to restrain myself during the day in preparation for gorging at dinner. Yay! I love Thanksgiving break!

You know you have Chinese parents when you think you’re being sent outside to pull weeds, but are actually commanded to get rid of the plentiful mint and basil growing near the flowers and cucumbers. I hovered over the plants for a few minutes, wondering what to do about the situation, but I eventually got to work uprooting them, if only to show my mother that I am capable of doing a good job.

When my dad first told me that we had them growing in the backyard, I was elated. Who doesn’t love having access to fresh herbs? But then he continued, “I’ve been thinking of getting rid of them.”
What?
Well, neither of my parents cook with mint or basil. I didn’t think he was serious, but there I was, developing blisters on my gloved hand from pulling out the roots. At least it smelled good. I also unearthed a few worms, which I had to block out of my mind; I’ve always abhorred the disgusting, writhing creatures.

Before

As my legs & back ached and sweat dripped down my face, I wondered how anybody could enjoy gardening as a hobby — I have zero experience with it. I also wondered if the previous owners of this house spent time deliberately planting the mint and basil. This stuff doesn’t grow there naturally, does it?

After

How do I forgive somebody who constantly tears me down? The theme of this year’s summer camp was forgiveness, and while I learned an enormous amount about the freedom that comes from releasing a grudge, it is still incredibly difficult to put into practice.

“If you don’t find an apartment soon, you might as well quit school this semester,” mother said spitefully at dinner.

How can I tell her that her exaggerations are hurtful to me? I have been hearing them all my life.

“If you keep getting B’s on your report card, you’re going to end up going to community college.”
“If you don’t find an internship by next summer, you’re going to end up jobless and homeless with nobody to take care of you.”

All those words planted this thought in my mind: you will never be good enough for me. And I believe it, constantly living in fear of her disparaging remarks. I can’t wait to get out of this house sometimes.