Why Is The Moon Lonely?

May 3, 2009 § 1 Comment

Apart from Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman is the only hairy man to whom I am attracted — and I actually like Jackman better with facial hair than without [his character in The Prestige was just creepy]. So I was immensely excited to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine on Friday, especially after reading about how the film includes a scene of Jackman scampering around butt-naked [I don’t think the guys in the theater really appreciated it, heh].

I enjoyed the movie much more than Watchmen, with which I draw a comparison solely because it’s the only other superhero movie I’ve seen recently; not only am I better acquainted with the comics, Wolverine did not contain the convoluted politics and storyline of the former.

There are a lot of reasons the film appealed to me, but it all comes down to this: I liked Wolverine a lot because it was high action and low drama, and because most of the screen time was devoted to sweaty, muscular men with long legs and bulging biceps [yum!]. And I really like leather jackets.

I had forgotten that Korean star Daniel Henney played a role in the movie, and thus was surprised when his name showed up in the opening credits, along with that of Will.i.am [when did he become an actor??], whose acting was mediocre. It was funny that Will.i.am’s power was teleportation, because all I could think of was how he communicated via hologram with Anderson Cooper, and how those things are kind of related if you don’t think about it too hard.

As for Henney, it was encouraging to see a relatively unknown Asian actor onscreen, although his powers seemed limited to playing with guns and jumping really high [which are cool, but forgettable. Like the rest of his character, Agent Zero]. I also wondered what kind of social connotations could be inferred from the fact that Agent Zero was basically Stryker’s bitch. That scene where he’s told to get back in the car was funny, but also made me uncomfortable. In any case, Henney was good-looking, but for some reason he looked older than 29 [I would’ve guessed 35 o_o]. Not taking adequate care of his skin, perhaps?

Speaking of attractive people, Wolverine was chock full of them — that’s why I love action films [only physically flawless people can save the world and themselves, didn’t you know?]. Ryan Reynolds has an okay face, but lovely arms. Henney gets bonus points for being handsome AND Asian. Tim Pocock, who played a young Cyclops, was rather cute as well, and I find it hilarious that his IMDB trivia simply states, “An accomplished opera singer.” On the other side of things, Dominic Monaghan reminded me of the lead singer of The Fray, who in turn reminds me of Elmer Fudd. Unfortunate…

Of course, the main attraction of the film was Wolverine himself, and boy was he attractive. He spent most of the movie either shirtless or in a wifebeater [is there a better term for those? I’d really like to know] and slim jeans, which showed off his body perfectly. Arms, shoulders, pecs, oh my! As a side note, Jackman doesn’t have an underbite, does he? In some scenes where he was enraged, his jaw seemed to be protruding more than usual, but I couldn’t tell if that was permanent or not.

Wolverine also managed to find actors who resembled their older figures, which is always appreciated. Kid Wolverine and Sabretooth looked passively like their grown counterparts, and Tim Pocock didn’t look too different from James Marsden. I thought it was stupid that Wolverine’s lover and her sister didn’t look alike at all — completely different facial structure, differently colored hair, and [if my memory serves me correctly] differently colored [and shaped] eyes. They didn’t even try.

Despite my avid enthusiasm for the visual aspects of the movie, the plot was also of good quality — but let’s face it, I didn’t go see Wolverine because I actually cared about his origins. I would say more but I don’t want to spoil it. I hope this is an indication of the entertainment level of upcoming summer films.

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