I Do, Or Don’t: Pt. II

January 28, 2009 § 3 Comments

Another tradition that makes me cringe is that of the father of the bride walking his daughter up the aisle to hand her off to the groom. This is a pretty obvious representation of familial power structures, as well as a lovely remnant of the days when women were literally regarded as objects to own. I don’t like this, and frankly I would prefer to walk down the aisle myself or even with my groom, but I’m not sure I could subvert that custom without upsetting someone. Roomie #1 jokingly suggested that I should have my mom walk me down the aisle instead, which is hilarious because it is totally feasible, since she controls my life 95% of the time when I’m at home.

During the commercial breaks I switched over to TLC, hoping for What Not To Wear to come on. Instead, 17 Kids and Counting was playing, which is the reality TV show about the Duggar family and its 17.5 children. One of the sons, Josh, was getting married [really, I couldn’t escape the theme that day]. He and his fiance, Anna, had never done anything past holding hands and hugging, and always had chaperones when they were together, which isn’t too difficult considering the boundless amount of siblings he has running around.

I admired their desire to remain physically chaste with one another. Josh explained that even though it was difficult to maintain those boundaries, he wanted to show that he was trustworthy so that she could trust him with anything in the future, which is a touching and mature perspective. Still, I hope the couple at least got some privacy over the phone. I’m not sure how well a couple could get to know one another if they’re never alone together, and I’m also unsure of the merits of waiting until the wedding day to race from the dugout to home plate. Awkward much?

During their wedding ceremony, some man [either a father or the pastor] read some sort of wedding vows to the couple. Most of it was pretty standard for an uber-conservative Christian family, but one thing he said astounded me in its creepiness. It went something along the lines of “…and for you, Josh, to choose the timing of your children…”

Um, WHAT???

I understood the whole “wife under the headship of her husband, who is under the headship of Christ,” but that was too much for me. I…can’t…form any words to describe my feelings or thoughts about that [other than “ewwww”], so make of it what you will. I just know that if anyone tried to spring that on me, I’d interrupt with “OH HELL NO.”


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§ 3 Responses to I Do, Or Don’t: Pt. II

  • jnlin says:

    nice layout. a lil more orange in the clouds picture and it’d be perfect =D

    hope you’re doing well

  • julie says:

    LOL!! i heard you shouting that when i read it! that is a very strange thing to insert into marriage vows…what i gather from ‘wives, obey your husbands, and husbands, love your wives like Christ loves the church’ is that the men are in the primary role of sacrificial love, leading solely based on what is best for the family (wife included). one (female especially) would hope that meant putting desires for children on hold if the wife isn’t exactly in agreement.

    side thought–how would that work anyway? actually, no, i dont want to think about it.

  • […] feel like I think about marriage a lot. It is something that many typical Americans experience or at least hope to someday experience, […]

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