Enormous Heaps of Metal
June 27, 2009 § Leave a comment
Despite the countless bad reviews for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I went to go see it in a theater that was surprisingly packed for a 10:55PM show, and I basically got what I expected. The action was fantastic — giant glistening robots beating the crap out of each other, hell yes — and everything else was kind of paltry or mediocre. Transformers had no lack of humorous gags in it too, from marijuana brownies to a humongous robot monster with dangling balls.
At almost three hours long, this film included a lot of rather useless shots that seem to have been put in for the purposes of trying to pretend like the audience actually cared about anything other than explosions and/or Megan Fox [digression on that to come soon]. This means much time spent watching people roll around in the sand or run from Decepticons, which in my mind is ridiculous because how do you outrun a monster like that?! I would just give up and crawl in a hole.
The World Is Ending
June 25, 2009 § Leave a comment
In other WTF news of the day, my brother’s friend is having his birthday party at a nightclub this Sunday. Sure, it’s non-alcoholic, but really?! What kind of uninformed parent takes 13 and 14 year old kids to a juice bar [that supposedly caters to 16-23 year olds] where they’re supposed to dance?! Really? A huge group of little teenagers dancing at a club? What the crap!
Also, Burger King just needs to stop. My favorite fast food place is slowly becoming loathsome because of its offensive advertising.
Of Mouse & Woman
June 24, 2009 § 2 Comments
“There’s a dead mouse on the driveway,” my mom said to me when she got home today. “Do you want to clean it up for me?”
In my head, the part of me that has an intense fear of dead things [necrophobia] shouted, “WTF NO!”
But the part of me that wanted to suck up to my mom because we got into an argument last night over the stupidest thing and the part that deep down, feels like she doesn’t love me as much as my brother and so I have to win her love by being the obedient older child said, “Uh what?” And I ran outside to take a look.
It couldn’t possibly be that tiny speck on the driveway?
Oh.
Poor thing.
It was the saddest thing I’ve seen all day, and it was indeed tiny — about the length of my pinky. I was charmed by its cuteness [sure beats cleaning up dead flies], but still had to try very hard not to think about what I was touching when I disposed of it with my hand in a rubber glove in a plastic bag, then tied up in another plastic bag.
It looked like it had just suddenly dropped dead on the driveway, but when I put it in the bag, it started bleeding from a wound on its back. I think one of our neighbor’s cats probably got to it and left it for us as a present.
I Want To Be The Very Best
June 23, 2009 § Leave a comment
Yesterday, the producers of American Idol came to Chicago to hold preliminary auditions at the United Center. I dragged SW with me to register on Saturday; although I have never even seen a complete episode of the show, I knew I would regret missing such a nearby opportunity. We feared that the lines would be overflowing, but by 3PM, the lot was empty, and we simply walked in and received our wristbands and tickets. We were told to keep our wristbands on until our auditions on Monday — the instruction sheet advised us to wrap our wrists in plastic so as not to get them wet. I duly adhered to these directions, in spite of how lame it made me feel.
Sunday night, I took the Metra [by myself for the third time, woot] downtown to sleep over at SW’s apartment; the registration people told us to start lining up at 5AM — yeah right! Thankfully, I had read these instructions and was not as intimidated by their ridiculous demands. As long as we had our tickets, we had seats. SW and I arrived at United Center at around 8AM, having decided to skip the frivolous group song [Kary Perry’s “Hot & Cold”] and other antics. The parking lot cost an astounding $21, so we just found a place on a nearby street.
Coca-cola had a very strong presence in the parking lot where we waited. People handed out cold Coke Zeros, and a huge screen was set up on the side of a Coca-cola truck for contestants to play Guitar Hero. The sun was not yet shining with its full force, so we enjoyed a slight breeze as we waited with the thousands of other hopeful people [inside, we filled up 2/3 of the stadium seats]. We were woefully unprepared, having forgotten to get bottled water and breakfast. Thankfully, I had half a bag of animal crackers, so we munched on those as we moved with the crowds towards the entrance.
auradis 