auradis

Why must life be filled with so much regret?
I trusted them — I trusted both of them
But I am learning once again
That I cannot depend on people.
That I am in control of nothing.
That despite pretty words and deep kisses,
He can turn his back in an instant.
And despite heartfelt promises and nearly half a lifetime of friendship,
She will do exactly the same.
I am numb with anger.
He was the one who helped me recover from the unwanted one,
Yet he is the one who turns my bitter heart blacker.
Was it love? No.
Was there potential for the future? Not really.
But he kissed her and did not have the decency to tell me,
Pretending to be my friend this whole time
As if it had never happened.
There are suddenly so many people I have to forgive;
I could not look them in the eyes
Even if they were not three hundred miles away.
He and she really disappointed me.
I wish none of this had ever happened,
But life does not rewind.
I can only endure each passing moment
As I wonder how things always turn out like this.

I see you now
For the monster you’ve always been
The tears have dried on my face
And I am no longer blind to your truth.
Your eyes contain nothing that I saw before;
I search for that light
But find only curious indifference.
Maybe you believed in the promises you made to me
Baby, I believed them too
But it didn’t take long for you to move on
To the next person.
I regret what we had.
If it was going to end like this,
I would have been better without you.
You will always be the same,
Falling hard and fast for another.
I wish you hadn’t
Dragged me down with you.

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