So I Was Standing There…

April 20, 2009 § Leave a comment

Occurrences that make tooth-brushing awkward:

1. Sneezing
2. Coughing
3. Nosebleeds [yes I was in the MIDDLE of brushing my teeth when blood starting coming out]
4. The sudden & desperate urge to pee
5. Recalling that the toothbrush I’m using had previously been in the trash can

Although it did not happen while brushing my teeth, I still remember my worst nosebleed story. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my family took a trip to Argentina for two weeks to accompany my father on his business trip. I don’t remember much about the place other than the fact that I was shocked that the little cart outside our hotel blatantly displayed porno mags on its outer walls. Naked ladies in public! My third-grade self could scarcely handle the scandal.

One sunny morning, I woke up early to use the bathroom. While washing my hands, my nose started to bleed. Being the youngster that I was, I didn’t really know how to stop a nosebleed. I thought that if I just shoved some tissue paper up my nostril and went about my business, it would go away. It didn’t. Fifteen minutes and half a roll of toilet paper later, my nose finally dried up. Since then, the internet has taught me how to calm the broken blood vessels in my nostrils, but that memory stays with me.

As for #5, all I will say is that my brother is not afraid to throw tantrums [it must be youngest child syndrome], and one night last summer my combs ended up in the toilet and my toothbrush in the garbage. I was livid. The coward went and hid under his covers and the only thing that kept me from strangling him was the fact that it was bedtime. Little punk! Don’t think I’ve forgotten!

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