June 15, 2012 § 2 Comments


My relationship with my eyelashes is nonexistent, mostly because my eyelashes themselves are more or less nonexistent. They’re so stubby that it’s hard to even curl them — good chance that I’m not doing it right, but how hard can it be? — so I’ve only worn mascara probably five times in my entire life. Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to clean that stuff off even with makeup remover; how do you get rid of it all?! I was still finding clumps three days after wearing mascara the first time.

I still have the second and last tube of mascara I owned in high school, the L’oreal Paris Double Extend, which I bought primarily because the formula on one side was white, and I wanted to wear white mascara because I’m edgy like that. I’ve read that you shouldn’t keep liquid makeup for more than a year because that stuff does expire (or at least foster bacteria that you shouldn’t put in your eyeball), so I don’t know why I’ve held onto it except for the nonexistent chance that I might want to try applying it again.

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October 19, 2009 § Leave a comment

What is the purpose of this?

Benefit’s lemon aid:

Our soft, lemon yellow cream helps to hide redness and discoloration on your eyelids. In a snap, eyes look refreshed, frisky, and ready for fun.

Eyelids can become red or discolored?! WHAT??
Really, who would pay $20 for this seemingly useless product? I’ve seen a lot of stupid things out there, but this one is just ridiculous.

Among other products I consider heinous is My Cleaning Trolley, via Sociological Images:

Note how it says “Girls only.” Sociological Images says:

There is nothing inherently wrong with toys that allow kids to mimic doing household tasks. Kids like to play at doing what they see adults doing–in fact, it’s an essential part of development.

Actually, my initial negative reaction stemmed from the fact that I wouldn’t want my kids trying to emulate some minimum wage hotel room cleaner — that’s not why my parents immigrated to America! White collar jobs only!

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