Of Mouse & Woman
June 24, 2009 § 2 Comments
“There’s a dead mouse on the driveway,” my mom said to me when she got home today. “Do you want to clean it up for me?”
In my head, the part of me that has an intense fear of dead things [necrophobia] shouted, “WTF NO!”
But the part of me that wanted to suck up to my mom because we got into an argument last night over the stupidest thing and the part that deep down, feels like she doesn’t love me as much as my brother and so I have to win her love by being the obedient older child said, “Uh what?” And I ran outside to take a look.
It couldn’t possibly be that tiny speck on the driveway?
Oh.
Poor thing.
It was the saddest thing I’ve seen all day, and it was indeed tiny — about the length of my pinky. I was charmed by its cuteness [sure beats cleaning up dead flies], but still had to try very hard not to think about what I was touching when I disposed of it with my hand in a rubber glove in a plastic bag, then tied up in another plastic bag.
It looked like it had just suddenly dropped dead on the driveway, but when I put it in the bag, it started bleeding from a wound on its back. I think one of our neighbor’s cats probably got to it and left it for us as a present.
I Want To Be The Very Best
June 23, 2009 § Leave a comment
Yesterday, the producers of American Idol came to Chicago to hold preliminary auditions at the United Center. I dragged SW with me to register on Saturday; although I have never even seen a complete episode of the show, I knew I would regret missing such a nearby opportunity. We feared that the lines would be overflowing, but by 3PM, the lot was empty, and we simply walked in and received our wristbands and tickets. We were told to keep our wristbands on until our auditions on Monday — the instruction sheet advised us to wrap our wrists in plastic so as not to get them wet. I duly adhered to these directions, in spite of how lame it made me feel.
Sunday night, I took the Metra [by myself for the third time, woot] downtown to sleep over at SW’s apartment; the registration people told us to start lining up at 5AM — yeah right! Thankfully, I had read these instructions and was not as intimidated by their ridiculous demands. As long as we had our tickets, we had seats. SW and I arrived at United Center at around 8AM, having decided to skip the frivolous group song [Kary Perry’s “Hot & Cold”] and other antics. The parking lot cost an astounding $21, so we just found a place on a nearby street.
Coca-cola had a very strong presence in the parking lot where we waited. People handed out cold Coke Zeros, and a huge screen was set up on the side of a Coca-cola truck for contestants to play Guitar Hero. The sun was not yet shining with its full force, so we enjoyed a slight breeze as we waited with the thousands of other hopeful people [inside, we filled up 2/3 of the stadium seats]. We were woefully unprepared, having forgotten to get bottled water and breakfast. Thankfully, I had half a bag of animal crackers, so we munched on those as we moved with the crowds towards the entrance.
Purple-Stained Fingers
June 18, 2009 § 1 Comment
Last Friday when I came downstairs, my father was eating lunch. On the table before him was a lone blackberry sitting in a plate.
“Where did that come from?!” I demanded. I had not been aware that we had any blackberries in the house, and I definitely would have known, because they are one of my absolute favorite fruits.
“Guess,” my dad said, smiling.
“…From…the fridge?” I felt pretty stupid. Where else could it have been from? What was he getting at?
“No, it’s from our house,” he responded.
My eyes widened. “We have a blackberry tree in our backyard?!?” The very thought of it imparted great joy as well as disbelief. I had never noticed a blackberry tree in our yard before…
Lost Cause
June 17, 2009 § Leave a comment
This is how I know that my life is sad.
Last night, my mom called me into her room to tell me something. “I just got off the phone with my old college friend,” she began. “She lives in Montreal; we visited her family once a long time ago, remember?” How could I forget? Even though it was more than a decade ago, I still remember the long car ride with my new Walkman [listening to Shania Twain], and living with the family above their little shop, from which I was free to take whatever candy I wanted.
“Now they own a motel and a restaurant,” my mother continued. “I asked her if she needed anybody to work for her during the summer.”
“You’re going to send me all the way to Canada?!” I yelped.
“It would be a good opportunity for you to practice your French,” she responded blithely, as if she had simply suggested that I go check the mail. I’m sure what she actually meant was, “I can’t stand to see you doing nothing but lounging around the house all day because you don’t have a job! I’m sick of seeing your useless face!”
I stood motionless in her doorway as my brain cast about haplessly for the most tactful way to refuse.
“Do you think your French is good enough for you to waitress? They just happen to have an opening because one of their employees is having surgery,” my mother said. I thought for a minute about my lack of participation in every French class I’ve ever taken, my self-consciousness about my bad accent, and the difficulty I have understanding the language when spoken at a normal, conversational speed.
“No…” I replied. “Don’t you think it would be easier for them to, you know, hire an actual Canadian?” In my mind I wondered about the exchange rate between Canadian and American currency.
“Well of course it would be!” she laughed. “With the economy the way it is, everybody is looking for a job.” She then proceeded to tell me about how we were planning to drive to Canada en route to Boston for a mini-vacation this summer, but with my father’s work schedule we’d probably have to push it back to mid-July, and ended with a resigned, “But you probably won’t be able to work for them.”
“Thanks anyway, mom,” I answered as I walked back to my room.
I turn 20 today. What have I accomplished in these two decades of life? Absolutely nothing.
auradis 